Alright world I am back with current reality show rants. It has been a while but I have been sitting in stillness trying to report “back to love”. Well I have reported back in and now I am happy to put a “loving” spin on all the reality and scripted shows that I have had on in the background whilst getting centered.

A lot has been happening with me. I am a single and ready to mingle lady and I have been on just a few legit dates. I am now home typing this blog so they clearly went well.

First up, I stopped watching “Dance Moms”, yet it still tapes for me. I just couldn’t deal with the mothers anymore. They reminded me of girls I went to high school with but way older and bitterer with Kate Plus 8 haircuts. I didn’t mind the fat yelling dance teacher… she actually made sense to me.

I am watching “American Idol” and “The Voice” I like the talent on “idol” but the eye candy of Adam Levine on “The Voice”. Olton Dixon was voted off last week and that just shows you who is voting… idiots. Elyse is soooo unlikable she has no right to even have that good voice she is sporting.

I also watch “Real Housewives of Atlanta, Orange County” and meee ladies of “Jersey “are back on the scene. Now I have been watching “Celebrity Apprentice” as well and Theresa Guidice is on that show and pretty likable although confirms her intelligence level. On the Reunion of Atlanta Ne Ne Leaks proves that people who are assholes get what they want out of life except friends, Cynthia is a giant fake and Candi is still my favorite. On the first episode of “NJ Housewives” Theresa’s husband Joe is a big fat jerkbag who pretends to lift weights and not to have cheated on his wife. I am super excited for this to unfold.

Now I am rusty and way too in touch with my loving self to get super nasty for my first blog back but I assume and can almost promise I will get my “groove back”.

PS. Please see “Think Like A Man, Act Like A Woman” it is funny and good.

I will be in Palm Springs this Saturday. Azul Comedy show….

Are you still crushing on this girl, considering she is obviously bad at using tumbler?

So I apologize for the BIG delay in responding to these questions. I am back up and running and sincerely feel way cooler now than before..

So lets answer your question. 

I am learning from recent, recent experience that you should let that man go and pursue you. I come from the mind of “no bullshit”. I have also just figured out that you can have “no bullshit” and still let the guy work for you. 

Sounds like he is cool but it also sounds like there is no chase on his end. 

Now at this point you may have already solved your issue and my advice may be super old…

let me know if that is the case. If not… just remember you are worth a lot. How do I know this information… I learn all of my self-esteem from Kelly Clarkson. Go ahead and download her new song “You Love Me”. 

Super good. 

saysomethingfunnybitch:

So I have been trying to figure out how to cram all of the crazy reality TV into one article. I won’t lie to you the German kids below me are an interruption in my viewing process.

2 and 4 year olds running around the apartment complex full-on naked screaming words in German is frightening…

Good Lord…. we all do! 

The thing that sucks is when you break up with someone you loved or still love but you needed to end it, after you finally get the courage to do it, you just think of all the great things and then re-think.

Don’t get me wrong sometimes all relationships need to survive later is a good break up. So remember that before you try to get them back after a week.

The ego is a super powerful thing try to get rid of it.

Here is how you can slow down the urge, if it really was a bad relationship and you shouldn’t even consider re-considering then here is what to do.

Write a list of all the reasons you broke up. What wasn’t working?

Then look at pictures before you dated that person. Write any memories of that time and how you felt.

Then look at pictures during the relationship and try to write how you felt then.

You will get all the reassurance that you need by just remembering real times not ones that are just in your egos mind scared of change and loneliness.

I want you now to get Kelly Clarkson CD “Breakaway” and feel empowered! Dance a bit, jam to it in the car… you will start to realize why you weren’t happy and why you deserve it.

Have a good cry.

Ya know I dated a guy a loooooooong time ago and we broke up thankfully even though it was hard, I look back and see it for what it was….but even after all of that I can hear a song from 2002 and it will bring me back to the swooning stage…I smile and think ” I wonder how “so and so” is doing?” I even called him once because of an Nsync song playing in the car. The MINUTE he answered… I remembered why we broke up.

My point is …. if its meant to be it will and if you just move forward you will see the truth.

Good luck 

OH! the chant you can say is…

“Renee is awesome and so am I”

Hey Beer Gal! 

I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better and less bothered by the title of your relationship. The truth is that if you really feel comfortable with just seeing where it goes without a title, then that is amazing and you did the right thing. 

Now, if you just feel like you are compromising in some way then please just end it with him. He will give you what you need if he really wants to be with you. Don’t focus on the title just focus on how he makes you feel. Get me?

If right now you feel good about it and slightly relieved then go with it. If things don’t evolve and you start to feel those issues again then you should be honest with yourself about the relationship and THEN talk to him again but just let it be the conversation that means “I need this and want to present it to you. If you don’t feel the same then I am moving on”.

If you continue to just have talks about things and stick around, I promise you from experience it will just keep staying the same!!

You totally took my advice correctly and I am so excited that it helped you! You are officially a smart woman for having the balls to be honest with a guy without games. 

Me likes it!!!

Okay, so before I answered this question I made sure I consulted a few guys to make sure I wasn’t being one-sided about this. 

So we all agree that it is your fault. 

I guess the second thing to know is what does ” I tried everything” mean?

I can totally speak for girls when I say, when we are treated well, we wanna have sex and it doesn’t just mean don’t hit me and I will be your sex slave or “but I am such a nice guy to her why wouldn’t she wanna do it.

Remember that romance isn’t just in cheesy movies, it should be in your relationship. Look, a guy takes the garbage out for me and I melt a little because it shows he cares about me enough to want to help me.

Flowers unexpected are something that shows the other person that you are thinking of them and how they feel and nothing makes a lady feel super awesome and sexual than consideration and a touch of uncheesy romance.

Try for me this, just surprise her with something you know she likes. It can be as little as leaving cupcakes or a flower at her front door for her to run into when she comes home or gets up in the morning. This shows her that you are not only going out of your way to get her something so tiny that just says “I am thinking of you” but you listen to her. This makes the vagina want it! 

You don’t have to do this weekly but how about once a month . Really think of her. She will do the same I promise. It will feel good for both of you! 

I hate that this sounds so clichet but man it is true. I really wish more guys would be open to wanting to know things to better this issue and not just assume the girl doesn’t like sex. Girls are emotional sexers for the most part and yes I just made up the word “sexers” 

Now go show her you love her other than sitting on the couch watching TV and saying ” I love you” 

Okay! Let us handle this shit. 

If you both are happy in the relationship then where you live shouldn’t matter…. however….if you aren’t both making compromises to make the other equally happy then that is just an issue. 

You gonna let her get pregnant and name the kid what she wants too?

I am not even sure if that has to do with this but I am on your side…. except for this one thing. You need to try first in the city. You despise the city because of you and your attitude. The city isn’t a mother-in-law that annoys you on holidays… ya know?

So first task. Try and find all the things that can benefit you in this city and stop making it an issue you may wear on your face and posture. Find a great spot to have a coffee and be alone, make that the part of the city that lets you be with yourself in a way that makes you become positive instead of….honestly….a naggy bitch. No offense.

I don’t know what city you dream about and pine for every day, but it must have an amazing rack!!!!

Pull it together man!

You seem like a great guy considering you managed to maintain a 6 year relationship in 2 cities so far. Perhaps she wants you to move where she is to see if you are going to make this relationship move forward with her. She could be testing you.

Do what I said. Find happiness in the city and happiness in your relationship should show again. Find a good local pub that has great potato skins and beer… I am hungry.

Good luck

First of all…. just relax. Do not say anything more about it and just move along like it didn’t happen. 

If you guys joke around a lot and you said something dumb but lets be honest, honest. Then you are in the clear.

The best thing you can do is just be you. She likes you. She definitely likes you if she is always talking to you at work. Also if you guys were even having a conversation about sex means she is flirting if nothing else. Unless she threw up in her mouth when you mentioned it! ha

The less desperate and attentive you are to her. I mean still be awesome and fun. But the less desperate you are and worried about what she thinks the more attractive you are. 

You seem cool. Be you

Yes there is a difference…I am from the midwest.

Also, the girls I have come across in Los Angeles don’t have that same “i have shoveled snow” coolness about them. Just sayin’

Instead of saying “lets go to the club and wear heels because he is a jerk” I say “be the better one and just grab some beers with some friends and just be honest and talk it out” 

Games are a waste of time especially if done wrong. ha! 

So simply but not so simply…. I can only give advice from the midwest because that is where I grew up and lived a lot of my life so far. and “midwest hot” is just funnier than “west coast hot” that just sounds stuck up and shitty. Let’s be fair my little sugar-muffin.